How to deal with insecurities and doubts that may stem from your childhood
We all have days where we feel like the world's biggest failure. It feels as if nothing we do is good enough, and sometimes it seems like everyone else has achieved something significant while we are a complete mess with no redeeming qualities whatsoever!
If it's been hard for you to feel like your life has meaning and value, then I’ve got a solution. I understand how our subconscious influences us - that when things go wrong or don't work out as planned they can make someone who was already feeling insecure even worse! So what are these patterns? They're just snapshot memories from experiences where there was pain involved (or maybe not enough joy).
But if you're like me, and have generational trauma or something that's been passed down from one generation to the next - awareness isn't enough. You need time and tools in order for your subconscious influences driven behaviour to change because healing those wounds will take patience as well.
The idea here being: "Healing requires effort"
You know that feeling when something bad happens and you just can't shake the sadness or anger?
Forgive yourself, and then move on. It doesn’t mean forgiving what happened; instead of being tied down by pain and negativity from past experiences—it's important for us all to start living in today's reality with a fresh perspective! So the idea of forgiving yourself has more to do with forgiving that you were holding on to that pain, that anger, that hate for so long. It has nothing to do with the ‘other party’.
Life can be tough and there are always going to be obstacles in our path. But instead of dwelling on what you can't control, focus your attention where it belongs: within yourself!
You have complete authority over how YOU think; don’t let other people dictate that for you because they may have their own opinions about the situation too- an opinion which could possibly differ from yours.
In any given moment you have complete freedom to CHOOSE what to think which in turn leads to how you feel. So I suggest choose a thought that feels better than the one you are having in one of those ‘insecure’ moments.
Choose a thought that has proven to make you feel better. And then practice this process often and you will find that you are getting better and better at it.
Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments. This is an awesome way to boost confidence, reminding yourself that you are capable of achieving great things!
Those things can be simple. Not everyone earns a Nobel Price. It can be something like: I am a good listener. I am great in choosing my clothes in the morning.
Those things may be ‘easy’ and simple to you but you can be sure that someone else will struggle with those.
For me one of the most effective ways to feel better when I feel blue is to think about something I am grateful for in that moment. It always helps!
Again that can be really simple:
I am grateful that:
- I have a roof over my head
- The sun is shining today
- I did see a bird on my way to work
- The lady at the supermarket smiled at me
- My children called me on the weekend
And so on.
For me Gratitude and breathing are some of the most important things during my day to ground me, make me feel better, get into alignment and in turn help someone else to feel better (which is the easiest way to feel better about your-self).
If you want to change your subconscious limiting beliefs for good I invite you to have a look at 2pointing.
Just give those things above a try and let me know how you get on.