Kairos refers to timing

There and not yet back again...

I am still in Germany

My dear inner circle friends,

it has been a few weeks since I connected with you on this forum. I have been 'sent' to this place. There is so much I want to share with you, yet the words for this experience are still forming.

I went to Germany to support my mother as she had 2 operations and at the same time help my ex-husband in his hotel he is leasing as he had to go to New Zealand.

I always 'knew' that there was a 'bigger'plan at play as I do trust the universe these days.It is incredible how the weaving of circumstances, stories, choices and decisions lead to the 'bigger' plan/picture, if only we allow this to happen. It requires so much Trust, which I am gaining more and more.

6 weeks have passed and i must say it feels like a time warp. It is difficult to explain but I feel I am completely shut off from everything BUT this place, the people that are involved in this story and myself in the middle of it. When I came to the hotel it felt like I stepped out of the last one yesterday. The work itself felt so familiar and my energy was simply pouring out of me. There was no fear, no stress on my part, simply joy in having to organize, being torn in different directions, challenged mentally, physically and emotionally. I am so ready for this. Yet I knew that this is not why I am here. I knew I have done that work before. I know I am really good at it and there was the thought : I don't need to proof anything anymore. So I was curious as to what might unfold.

I must say this has been quiet a journey. Never ever have I worked in a place that seems so disorganized, chaotic, stress full, full of 'surprises', energies that work against progress and a never ending stream of blocks in the path.
I noticed that I went initially into my old pattern of work. Somehow thinking that I can 
DO the work. After a while I realized that all I have to do was to work with the field. Yet that was also initially very draining. I felt so much resistance from so many levels. And then I realized that I felt discouraged for not making progress, for not being able to shift this 'block' that kept coming and for finding myself physically a bit drained.

All I now had to do was to mirror all of that. This beautiful old hotel feels exactly the same. I just 'picked' it up. The hotel is tired of being 'used' and not invested in, not feeling loved by their owners, the guests and sometimes the staff. Giving all the time and not receiving. Why can I pick this up? Because on some level ( past , present or future) I resonate with that frequency and hence do I 'get' it. As if this wasn't enough 'enlightenment' I found myself entangled in a personal story that offered exactly that kind of behavior and pattern. Bingo! 
Another beautiful wave of information hit me. It is my CHOICE what to think, what to believe, what to feel. 
Old emotions of betrayal, mistrust, broken heart etc came up and when I recognized them I allowed that feeling for a while just to experience it, look at it and say: that is not what I CHOOSE to think anymore. And then I let it go and searched for a thought that had a higher frequency. I know this all sounds a bit up in the air, yet I can assure you it is very practical.

Why am I still here? Well the universe provided me with my most challenging yet liberating experience yet and I am not  finished with that one. It involves my heart, my soul and my many lifetimes. I have never experienced something like this before. It is still fresh and I feel vulnerable and you will have to wait for more information as my words about this are not ready yet. I am deeply touched, deeply moved, very open and ready to take a huge jump despite all the fear and insecurities that are coming up. I will let you know soon how that plays out.

I am back offering sessions, am thinking of workshops for next year ( would you like one in your area?) more writing and more moving forward on that path to practice what I teach. I know you are all with me and am grateful to have started on this journey. Life is so much more exciting since I re-member ed 2 pointing. And that is how we all met.

I hope you are well and feel my love for you.

Namaste
 

Catrin