What your parents did not tell you
We are not talking about the bones in your closet :). We are talking about what you have been taking away with from your life at home.
Patterns and habits.
When we really look closely at our own behaviour, we will discover that some of them are strangely 'familiar'.
And that is no surprise. We learn as children with all our senses and 'learn' and copy behaviour patterns from our home environment.
So your parents did not have to 'tell' you everything. They were your 'role model' even if you consciously didn't see them this way.
And even if they were absent.
So now we look at our lives and become aware of that. We discover a few patterns or habits that are not serving us anymore or are beneficial in any way.
How do you notice?
The funny thing is that most of us are at some point in our lives saying: I do NOT want to become like my father (mother, grandmother etc). Yet there is no escape really. For e.g., look at the way you eat. Are you sitting at a table together? What kind of foods are you consuming? Now think back to your childhood. Can you see similarities?
Those are just easy examples.
Now look at your work. The way you see work. Check your life-work balance . Any similarities to your home environment?
Relationships. What do you think about women and men? How do you relate to your intimate partners? What are your beliefs about marriage? Are those beliefs really yours?
I could go on forever. It gets more and more complex. When we are ready to ‘see’ it and all is well I say: Congratulations.
If there are areas that are limiting us in any form or shape (work, health, relationships, spirituality, business) we have to make a decision.
And we decide to change that.
Change is about interrupting the patterns and habits that no longer serve us.
And that is a process.
'If you want to meaningfully alter your life, you don't simply abandon a dysfunctional habit or belief; you replace it with a healthy one.
You choose what you are moving toward. You find an arrow and follow it. As you begin your journey, it's important to not only reflect on what you would like to be free from, but on what you want to be free to do or become.'
Dr. Edith Eger
I would like to add!
Please just know that your parents most likely had your best interest at heart. They were also once children and picked up habits and patterns from their parents. We all have habits that are beneficial, and we should also become aware of those and be grateful for them. Only this generation now is starting to even think about this concept and becoming aware of how we pass on habits and patterns over generations. And we can all do something about it. Keep and foster the ones that are for the betterment of all and transform those that require changes.
2pointsonesmile is doing that. One pattern at a time.